i hate how you’re just born out of nowhere and you’re forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job what if i wanted to be a duck
i was expecting this to end in death and sadness and now i’m pleasantly surprised that was adorable
omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now
Okay so this just happened on my dashboard and I personally think this is exactly his kind of humour
I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
*turns up music*
I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
*takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Hey. Leave her alone.
Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
*moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
I can make that happen.
Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.